Movie titles suck these days.

What is this garbage?!

There are plenty of despicable trends sneaking their way into movie theaters these days. Like 3D, endless remakes, sequels, and reboots, and Channing Tatum. I can stomach those. But there is one trend I simply cannot stand.

Terrible titles.

My proposal: the cliche-free slasher film.

This would be scarier if we hadn't seen it a billion times.

Imagine you’re standing in the center of a messy bedroom. I mean, trashed. Hurricane Katrina just tore through here, and it’s up to you to clean it up. It doesn’t have to be spotless by the time you’re done, just better than how you found it.

You start by making the bed. You pick up the clothes and shoes and candy wrappers off the floor. Maybe you push the cabinet neatly back against the wall. “So much better!” you say, and it’s the truth. Exhilarating, isn’t it? Making such drastic improvements with just a few well-informed actions?

The slasher genre is the most clichéd of all film genres. More than the romantic-comedy, more than the come-from-behind sports film. The messiest bedroom of them all. We’ve seen it a billion ways, all using the same mechanics that don’t work – and haven’t worked since John Carpenter invented the genre with 1970’s Halloween. Now, here’s what I think: it could work, if somebody just knew what the hell they were doing.